15> Harder than ever to land a role in those new Wrigley's
commercials featuring the Doublemint Octuplets.
14> Two words: Gilbert Gottfried(s)
13> Any scientific advancement that stems from the result of
Scottish people doing strange things to sheep is bound to
have dire consequences.
12> In mere weeks, Bill Gates (v1.0, v1.2, v2.0, v3.0, v3.1 & v5.0)
has all the money on the entire planet.
11> Hillary's husband discovers true multiple orgasms.
10> If you think there are too many idiots shouting "Show me the
money!" on every occasion now, just wait.
9> Rush Limbaugh takes his self-affection to a whole new level,
and suddenly is IN FAVOR of same-sex marriages.
8> "Penn & Penn & Teller & Teller & Teller & Penn & Penn & Teller
& Penn" much harder to fit on comedy club marquee.
7> And you think it's hard to find your size now!
6> 18-month waiting list for George Clooney and Cindy Crawford
clones.
5> "Alternative" radio filled with even more Nirvana clones.
4> And the final score: the New York Gretzkys - 408, the
Pittsburgh Lemieuxs - 399.
3> Can no longer count on the Grim Reaper to get Jesse Helms out
of office.
2> Those apocalyptic words: "Ladies & Gentlemen: The John Tesh
Philharmonic Orchestra!"
and the Number 1 Potential Problem With Cloning Humans...
1> Seventeen Mark Fuhrmans, and suddenly OJ's defense doesn't
seem quite as far-fetched.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, please include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]
Selected from 143 submissions from 50 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors are:
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John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 1, 5 (6th #1)
Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- 2
Michael Wolf, Brookline, MA -- 2
George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO -- 2
Gene/Cynthia Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT -- 3
Jeff Johnson, Daly City, CA -- 4
Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 4
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 4
Jennifer Hart, Arlington, VA -- 6
Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX -- 7
Jesse Garon, San Francisco, CA -- 7
Greg Pettit, Houston, TX -- 7, 14
Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN -- 8
JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 9
Alexander Clemens, San Francisco, CA -- 10
Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 11
Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA -- 12
Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC -- 13
Kris Kettner, Fond du Lac, WI -- 14
R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA -- 15
LeMel Hebert-Williams, San Francisco, CA -- 15 (Hall of Famer)
Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA -- 15
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