[HUMOR] bad jokes & Englishness
Gordon Garb (ggarb@apple.com)
24 Jan 97 17:36:04 -0800
>I thought my wife, Barbara, was losing her hearing, so one day
>I decided to test it. I quietly walked in the front door and stood
>30 feet behind her.
>
>"Barbara," I said, "can you hear me?"
>
>There was no response, so I moved 20 feet behind her.
>
>"Barbara," I said, "can you hear me?" Still no response.
>
>I advanced to ten feet and asked, "Now can you hear me?"
>
>"Yes, dear," she answered. "For the third time, yes!"
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't
>serve strings here." So the string walks back out, wraps himself
around himself, fans out his upper end a bit, and goes back into
>the bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, ain't you
the string that was just in here?" ...And the string replies, "Nope,
>I'm a frayed knot."
>---------------------
>Two men walk into a bar. One says, "Ouch!"
>---------------------
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a drink.
>...And a mop."
>---------------------
Q: How many teddy-bears does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It takes only one teddy-bear, but it takes a whole lot of
> lightbulbs.
>---------------------
In case anyone tries to tell you that the so-called
"serial" comma is unnecessary:
"THIS BOOK is dedicated to my loving parents,
Ayn Rand and God."
(Attribution, alas, unknown. If you have any idea
who originally wrote this, _please_ send the info
>to <jon@bazilians.org> or <jon@daft.com>!)
>---------------------
...And remember, if you're out on the ice, at night, _don't_ wear white
(else you might get run over by a rampaging Zamboni).