[HUMOR] Married With Children

Gordon Garb (gordon_garb@bbcomm.apple.com)
Wed, 22 Feb 1995 10:18:31 -0800

"We've always been big fans of the show," Joanna Nath told reporters
from her bed in the intensive care unit of Toronto's Sunnybrook Hospital.
"But we're both mature adults and, on reflection, we think it's best not
to watch it together anymore."

Mrs. Nath and her husband Billy had been rushed by ambulance to the
hospital the previous night, after spending an evening watching television.
A spokesman for the hospital explained: "It seems that during Married With
Children, an argument bagan about which actress was better looking. Mrs.
Nath liked the mother Peg Bundy, but Mr Nath preferred the teenage daughter
Kelly. A fight broke out, with Mrs Nath breaking her husbands left arm,
severing the tendons in his left hand with a knife and slashing him in the
stomach and groin with a broken wine bottle.

"Rather than go to hospital, Mr Nath let his wife staunch the flow of
blood and generally patch him up, and they settled down to watch TV again.
Unfortunately another episode of Married With Children came on, the fight
was renewed, and this time Mrs Nath was stabbed in the chest, back and legs,
and her right arm was almost completely severed below the shoulder. Only
after watching the shopping channel for 30 minutes did they finally decide
to call an ambulance."

"What do the TV companies think they're playing at?" Mr Nath demanded.
Showing programmes like that is irresponsible. People could get hurt."
His condition was described as critical but stable.

(Toronto Globe and Mail 18/4/94)